


would you be so kind?

by aphantasiac



Series: The Jankie/Dodie Series [5]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Highschool AU, Lesbian AU, Song Inspired, happy gay times, would you be so kind by dodie clark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:29:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24105211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphantasiac/pseuds/aphantasiac
Summary: "'Cause I like you, but that's not enough. So if you will, please fall in love with me."aka jackie surprises jan with a date, and jan surprises her too.
Relationships: Jackie Cox/Jan Sport, Jan Sport/Jackie Cox
Series: The Jankie/Dodie Series [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1704244
Comments: 10
Kudos: 44





	would you be so kind?

**Author's Note:**

> this took way to long thanks to a lack of motivation and also school work taking up my time. wasnt sure where i wanted to go with this one, it's a little more jackie -centric as usual, but there is some good happy gay times of course so yay! enjoy!

Jackie loves Jan.

She's known for a while, has come to accept it. Every bit that Jan chooses to share of herself is seen as beautiful to Jackie. She has seen Jan at her lowest, has seen her tears and her hurt and the way her heart aches. And Jackie has seen Jan at her highest point, smiling, singing, shining bright enough for the sun to envy her.

Jackie's seen Jan in pretty dresses and high heels, with curled hair and glittery makeup. And she's seen Jan in a large t-shirt and barefooted, with no makeup and a messy ponytail. 

And Jackie loves every last bit of Jan.

Jackie often found herself watching Jan when she wasn't paying attention, observing her like the finest piece of art Jackie's ever seen. The way her lips curl when she giggles, and even more so the way her nose crinkles when she laughs The wrinkles near her eyes when she is genuinely happy, and the lack of them when that joy doesn't quite reach her eyes. The way her whole body lights up and her voice gets high when she is talking about something she loves, and the way she falls quiet when something is bothering her. How easy it is to make her smile, and how Jackie never wants to see her in painful tears again. She notices it all, and she could honestly say she wouldn't change a single thing about her.

Being in love with Jan is the easy part for Jackie. Expressing her love though? Things get complicated. 

Jackie's thought a lot about how to go about expressing her feelings to Jan. She's tried a couple of times, once in the hallways between classes, once in the car ride home, and again when they were snuggled up watching _Grease_. The words never form on Jackie's tongue correctly. Jackie's never had to verbalize feelings for someone before, not feelings like these. She once prided herself for steering away from the dangers of love and heartbreak, but now she finds herself wishing she had dipped her toes in the pond just a few times. 

So there's a lack of experience. Combine that with a crippling fear of rejection, as well as an inability to form decent sentences when Jan is around anyways. Jackie is struggling, to say the least.

Jan doesn't come home with Jackie on Thursday, which Jan had previously declared as their "ice cream and musical night." There's a soccer tournament coming up, and Jan, dedicated as ever, is trying to squeeze in some extra practice hours.

Jackie reminds her to pace herself, to push herself but not too hard, and to drink a lot of water. Jan promises to text her when she's done.

As much as Jackie was looking forward to strawberry ice cream and _Mama Mia_ with Jan, she's glad to have a night to reorganize her mind. Jackie always likes to keep her brain cleaned up and sorted, maybe the only positive side effect of being a certified over thinker. But as soon as she sees Jan, those thoughts are scattered and thrown around and Jackie has to put everything back in it's place.

In other words, Jackie spends more than an hour in the mirror testing out different ways to ask Jan out.

Jackie starts with a long monologue explaining how these feelings were planted deep in her soul the day they meant, and have only bloomed since then. It's boring and rambly and has to force herself to stop talking.

A couple of pick up lines from the internet come out. Jackie does her best to act smooth in the mirror while she says them, and ends up laughing at herself before she can even tell the punchline.

Jackie sighs and leans against the counter. She closes her eyes and mumbles, "Jan, please just fall in love with me."

\- - - - - - - - 

Jackie eventually settled on a really simple and plain offer to have a movie date, with popcorn and candy and comfortable reclinable chairs. She chooses to ignore the fact that they've already been having lowkey movie dates every night Jan is there. But it won't be like the others, because it would be in a real theater and they'd be paying to be there and it would be their first official date.

It's the best and least awkward thing Jackie can come up with, especially because if things go wrong Jackie can play it off as just going to the movie with a friend.

She spends the rest of the night and the whole next morning building her confidence up brick by brick to actually say it in front of Jan, which is always the most difficult part. She also spends the whole school day building up that confidence because there's suddenly too much pressure when Jackie tries to ask Jan in the hall and can feel everyone's eyes stab at her skin. 

So Jackie tries her luck when they're making up for their missed movie session, wrapped up on Jackie's bed in soft colorful blankets with chocolate and strawberry ice cream. Jan is leaned against her side, the warmth of her body contrasting the cold ice cream coating Jackie's tongue. Jackie breathes deep, pushes any doubts about ruining the night to the side.

"Hey, Jan?"

"Hm?"

Jan turns to look at Jackie, with a smudge of chocolate on her corner of her mouth. Jackie's opens her mouth but her lungs burn red hot in her chest, and all of the rehearsed words she practiced to her reflection just disappear. Jan's waiting for an answer, and Jackie wishes she hasn't said anything.

Jackie brings her thumb up to wipe the ice cream off Jan's mouth. "Do you...uh- do you want more ice cream?"

It's all Jackie could think of to cover herself. Thankfully, Jan doesn't question it, just shakes her head and presses closer to Jackie. "No, i'm cold enough already."

Jackie falls silent again for the rest of the movie. She tries to focus but can't, because once again Jan's hypnotizing eyes have claimed their glory over her mind.

\- - - - - - - - 

Jackie has the weekend to herself, because of the extra practices Jan's coach scheduled over the whole weekend.

The irritation of not being able to say the words on her mind is really setting in now. Jackie's been obsessing about it for days and assumes it's the reason why she's been waking up with a headache. She tries to focus on her school work to distract her, but it's become near impossible without the soft sound of Jan singing in the background that she's grown so use to. Her room feels empty and quiet and dim without her personal ball of sunshine there to brighten the place up.

Jackie's itching to leave, get out of the confining walls of her room to escape over working her mind with thoughts of Jan. She eventually she decides a walk will do her good.

A walk, all the way down to the small playground hidden behind the trees of her neighborhood. 

Jackie discovered this park a couple of years ago, when she was still exploring her new area. She found the little place tucked into the thick trees near the corner of her neighborhood, a small park featuring a old, but brightly painted, playground. There was never any kids there, never anyone walking around, everything was overgrown and clearly not taken care of.

It was the ideal place for Jackie to get some fresh air and do a little reading away from society. 

She hasn't visited in a while, but it's just as she remembers. The faded red mulch crunches beneath her sneakers and she pulls herself up onto the platform of the playground, and her feet dangle below her.

Jackie doesn't escape from her Jan-related thoughts for long. She starts to wonder if Jan is having the same kind of feelings she is experiencing. How is she dealing with them? Do her lungs burn and words get twisted in her mouth when she see's Jackie too?

If Jan is experiencing these things, she's doing an incredible job of hiding them from Jackie. Or maybe Jackie is too busy drooling over how Jan looks every day to notice the blonde struggling too.

Jackie starts to wonder if it's even possible for Jan to love her.

A chilly swipe of wind hits Jackie and makes her shiver. The sun has started to set and Jackie can't see it over the trees anymore, but it lights the playground in an orange glow. The wind makes the trees and the grass rustle. Baby birds chirp from a nest tucked away at the top of the trees. It's an eerie peace, and unsettling calm. Comforting to be in but Jackie's mind makes the park feel lonely.

A picnic here would be nice. Jackie thinks about it while she stares at the sky. A little picnic in the empty field area with snacks and stars and _Jan_.

Oh. A picnic with Jan.

Jackie's breath catches in her throat. Her mouth hangs open even as as a grin spreads on her face. There's no one there to see it, but Jackie looks down at the small field of grass beside the playground and it all clicks. It's the breakthrough she's been searching for. Hours spent rehearsing lines and thinking about cute ideas for first dates when this secret slice of heaven has been waiting here the whole time. She feels absolutely stupid for not thinking about this place sooner.

A surprise picnic date, one that doesn't require Jackie stumbling over her words like a fool.

Jackie's never walked home so fast. She's practically running, squealing, her mind flooding with new excitement. There's not much she can do in preparation that night, except video call Heidi and model different outfits. Heidi pretends to be annoyed, gives sarcastic comments while she narrows down Jackie's collection of casual dresses and colorful skirts. But before they hang up, Heidi makes sure to boost Jackie's confidence.

"You've got this Jackie. She's gonna love this and you, girl. I hope it all works out for you." Heidi tells her.

"Yeah, me too." 

Jackie gets everything ready Sunday night. She picks a pastel purple blanket from her collection. It's light and soft and it's Jan's favorite color. She finds a basket, still in good shape, in her house and packs snacks that she knows Jan loves. She adds an abundance of gummy candies, with some chips and waters nuzzled in there as well. The blanket folds nice over the basket and fits into the corner of the trunk of Jackie's car.

There's not much more Jackie can do besides prepare herself. She won't coward out of it this time. 

\- - - - - - - -

Jackie wears a yellow and orange dress, and subtly convinces Jan over text to wear something cute as well. Not that it will be hard, Jan looks unreasonably adorable no matter what she's wearing.

She wakes up earlier than usual so she has time to curl all of her hair. She wears the shade of pink lipstick that Jan said was her favorite. Her head and heart are exploding with excitement and anticipation of what is to come, that she tries her best to hide when Jan comes strolling out of the school in a light blue dress that makes her heart race.

Jackie's leaning against her car, smiling wide and she doesn't even try to disguise when she looks her up and down.

"Ooh, this dress is so cute, Jackie!" Jan gestures to Jackie, who wiggles her hips a bit.

"Me? Look at you, walking around and making the sky jealous in that look. It's gorgeous!"

Jan twirls, laughs, winks at Jackie and the brunette doesn't falter because she has her mind set on her goal.

The radio is turned up loud while Jackie is pulling out of the school's parking lot, and Jan is singing along to the Lady Gaga song that blasts over speakers. She's smiling and happy and oblivious to Jackie's plan. And Jackie is silent, trying to conceal the grin that tries to chisel it's way onto Jackie's face. It's all normal and Jan doesn't question anything, until she looks out the window and notices Jackie has driven past her house.

Jan reaches forward to turn down the radio. "Girl, you passed your house."

"I know."

Jan looks at her with confusion, and Jackie briefly glances over and can't conceal her smile anymore.

"I have a surprise for you."

Jackie doesn't have to look to notice the immediate change in Jan. She gasps, excited to match the way Jackie is feeling. "A surprise?" 

Jackie just nods, looks forward and keeps Jan guessing in the passenger seat. The blonde is seriously trying to figure out where Jackie is taking her. She guesses the mall, the theater, and a coffee shop. Jackie shakes her head to each of them.

The parking lot is as empty as always when Jackie pulls in, and Jan's guessing game stops while she steps out and looks around. Jan is clearly curious about the seemingly abandoned park, but she doesn't look very impressed and it pricks at the bubble of confidence Jackie formed around herself. She looks away and comes around to the trunk of her car, and stands for a moment, taking a deep breath. 

Jackie shakes her head. She can do this.

The trunk pops open and she pulls out the basket and purple blanket and closes the the trunk once more. Jan's exploring deeper into the park, venturing out and trying to walk in the grass with her heels sinking into the dirt.

"Jackie, what is this place-"

Jan turns around, pauses when she sees Jackie holding the picnic gear with a smirk on her face. 

"A picnic?"

"A picnic date."

Jan is hugging Jackie before those words can even really leave her mouth, squealing loud in her ear but it doesn't matter because Jan smells like flowers.

"Jackie, that's perfect! Oh my- This is so sweet!" 

Relief flows over Jackie and she giggles with the excited girl, wraps her empty arm around Jan's waist and holds her there. Jan smells like roses and lavender and Jackie could stay there forever just holding each other. But then Jan's pulling away and grabbing her hand instead, and Jackie realizes Jan is waiting on her.

Jackie guides Jan through the park, intertwines their fingers together while they walk through the uncut grass.

\- - - - - - - - 

"How did you find this place?" Jan asks, mouth full of fruit-shaped gummies.

They're both sitting criss-cross beside each other on the soft blanket with a spread of goodies around them. Their hands are still wrapped together, and the sun has set over the quiet park. They've been chatting for the better part of three hours. Jan gushing excitedly about the tournament coming up and Jackie promising that she'll be there to watch.

Jackie almost doesn't hear Jan, distracted by the way the moon overhead gives her an ethereal glow. "Found it a while back. I use to come here to read a lot." 

Jan snorts. "Nerd."

"And proud of it!"

Jan laughs and it's infectious and Jackie's laughing with her. She tilts her head back and there's stars peeking out against the darkening sky. Slowly she lays back, gazing up at the sky as it finishes its transition from day to night. It's too perfect. Jan's here and she's giggly and content and Jackie is almost scared to ruin it with her emotions. Her mind is nipping at her with doubts, but her heart fights back with the hope that Jan might just be feeling the same way.

Jan grabs a couple of those addictive fruit gummies and lays beside Jackie, blonde hair spilling over the blanket and into the grass and eyes focused on the sky. The stars shine above them, but Jackie's more interested in the way Jan's eyes twinkle brighter than them all. 

Jackie takes a deep breath in. "Jan, I-"

"I like you, Jackie." 

Jackie's voice stops, and she's staring dumbly. Her face is warm and she's absolutely speechless. 

Jan's head turns to look at her and her eyes are wider than the moon above them. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off-"

"I was going to say the same thing....You like me?"

Jackie feels like she can't breathe, her lungs stinging in a new, very nice way. Her heart is racing, she wonders if Jan's is too, and it only increases when Jan's lips curve up again and she grips at Jackie's hands. 

"I thought that was obvious!" Jan says, erupting into small laughs. "Girl, all we do is flirt and cuddle. Can't get much gayer than that."

Jackie's cackling now too, leaning forward until their foreheads are touching. There's a lot of emotions at once, and for the first time Jackie can say they are all completely positive. Excitement, relief, joy, a little embarrassment but the good kind. And she can see those emotions reflected on Jan, who stares at her and bites at her bottom lip.

Jackie could lay there and stare into the mesmerizing jewels of Jan's eyes, but she known this is just the start of a new chapter in their story.


End file.
